As ‘alternative facts’ began to overrun every corner of free speech, Western Civilization found itself divided like never before. Shouting replaced listening. Each side was utterly convinced of its rightness. Spoken words gushed forth, regardless of law or propriety. Citizens saw a verbal Civil War on the horizon and demanded something be done. Welcome to the world of the WordMeter, where every utterance is not only counted but also granted at the discretion of the higher powers. Everyone agrees this is a generous system because allotments of words can be replenished simply by scratching a winning ticket in the WordLotto.